Season 2 Episode 28 – You Should’ve Asked

In this episode, I discuss the article “You Should’ve Asked,” that discusses the “mental load” that women bare when it comes to being managers of the household.

Check out the article here

There are some jewels in this one for newlyweds and seasoned relationships …if I do say so myself.









One thought on “Season 2 Episode 28 – You Should’ve Asked

  1. Good episode. With a new baby in the house, this mental load thing is on the forefront of my mind. You should check out the book, “How not to hate your husband after kids” by Jancee Dunn. I think this may be my go to baby gift for all expecting parents, no matter how many kids they have. The author talks about her struggle with the mental load and the division of household tasks in her marriage, how her resentment grew, how she recognized that it was destroying her marriage, and hurting her daughter.

    As you talked about how much modern men contribute to their households, sections of the book rang out to me. Relying on a host of experts, the author explains some of the phenomena you talked about in the podcast. There are studies out there to explain why men think they are contributing so much and why women disagree. It also explains how and why the “before kid” and “after kid” household labor distribution changes.

    But, the best thing about the book is how the couple worked through these issues in their marriage, including how each had to change their behaviors to restore and maintain balance. Each were at fault. There are no martyrs in a healthy marriage. (Aside: that is the topic of my next sermon at Greater Little Mount Hope Bedside Baptist Evangelical Family Life Center) The result is very informative and very personal. In the ultimate act of community service, the author really puts herself, her husband, and their marriage out there. Ultimately the book serves as guidebook for couples who need help navigating all this stuff and some perspective (i.e. we are all going through this in our marriages on one level or another.)

    With all that said, you have made some good points in this episode. I shall take them under advisement as I continue to read, think through some things, and figure out how to talk about them (which is also covered in the book).

    N. Ligon


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